Hello dear friends, me again.
Seven years ago my son estranged himself from us.
Everything I've read since says I should let go and move on. That they seldom
're-engage' and if they do, it's not for the right reasons. It's to do with
some sort of perceived financial entitlement; their 'due'.
But I hold on. I fantasize that one day he'll knock
on my door (with grandchildren I've never met in tow) and explain/apologize ...
and all will be well again.
My family says I'm delusional.
They're probably right.
So I've been thinking about 'talking to someone'. Of finding a kind therapist who will take me by the hand
and lead me out of this funk I find myself in.
It's possible I'm fantasizing again.
I don't know.
What do you think? Should I give it a shot? Have you
ever felt the need to seek help in mending your broken heart?
Tell me.
Oh Sue yes, this will never hurt. I think it's helpful becasue the person you are talking to knows nothing about you, isn't going to have preconceived notions and opinions like family. I have done conseling when I went through a depression a few years ago. I will admit the first person I went to made me cry because he was rude. So I never went back. But because i had been to counseling before I knew this was not the norm. So I looked for someone else. The woman I got was older than me and seemed wiser than me that is for sure. She was so calming and when I just sat and cried, she let me just get it out. No pressure. I highly recommend doing this for yourself. Your son may not join the fold again, but if he does, you will be better prepared to handle it. Or handle it better if he doesn't. Either way - do it for you!! its 1 hrs about you. not your husband, kids, work. YOU. Take an hour and go do it!
ReplyDeleteI have a little bit of peripheral experience with this and based on what I know reconciliation is virtually. Impossible and often for the wrong reasons, as you point out. I think you probably are better off accepting it and moving on. I have good friends in exactly the same position and they say that as soon as they concluded that the relationship could not be mended it was much easier to continue forward with their own lives.
ReplyDeleteSue, I definitely believe in counseling. I had a traumatic experience and had years of counseling after it. Then I continued with it on and off until my psychologist died. I found it very satisfying to learn the whys and wherefores of human behavior. I accidentally corrected a couple of other areas while learning about myself and others. If you are open to exposing yourself and learning good thinking habits then I know you will profit. Also psychologists are like doctors, find one you like not just any old one. How do you do that? Trial and error. Sometimes you get lucky the first time and sometimes not but do it anyway, Just put on your Nike's and "Do It"
ReplyDeleteI have seen God heal(ing) estrangement in my own family. He can do it. He wants to do it.
ReplyDeleteI think this is wise:
"It's one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody."
Forgive, heal, seek reunion.
I don't know what your son is thinking or how it all looks to him, but I think some circumstances can seem one way to one person and totally different to another. Pray for restoration.
A therapist or give it over to the Lord, but do not give up... He is your son. You are the only mom he has.
Thank you Sandi.
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